Had a dream today. Those kind that makes your heart goes "thud thud thud" when u open your eyes. Those kind that you will thinking about fleetingly the whole day. I woke feeling all breathless and a little frightened. And then i went on to read my morning papers. And when i came to the horoscope; here's what it says. Nothing can sound worse than this at this point in time;

When you're involved, on any level, you're involved entirely. There are no two ways about it, and no changing your mind once your heart has arrived at a decision. Keep that in mind before you get too caught up ...

.. Before you get too caught up.. isit me but its liek so forebodin... Maybe im living in one big dream and i should wake up after all. How many lies can you tell yourself aniway. It's one big lie. that goes on and on and on and on and on and on. And in the end, there will be nothing. All gone to dust. . . NOthing. But then again who knows what will happen in a few months time, everything changes.. maybe i should just enjoy what there is now and then worry later.. BUt how can i!

When the head and the heart is in conflict? Which one wins? But there are always uncontrollable external effects and trust me, they are reali uncontrollable. Given a chance, would i want it to ever happen this way? I also duno... how would i know ?! But everything happens for a reason, dun they? and this had better be happening for a damn good reason. But the more i think about it, the bleaker it looks. hmhp.

Maybe i should just pack up and fly away for a little while.. ha

Today i reali felt like im in my cocoon little happy world .. u know , that feelin you get when its all cold and rainy outside and ur tucked in bed feelin all warm and comfy and you know there's nothing pressing happening later and you can just do whatever u like and there's things for you to look forward to as well.

And today i spent time alone in the library wandering through the shelves and shelves of books and just sitting there with my fav book. And i was also plesantly surprised at the borrowin counter! I was scannin in my 6th book using onli one card and the reason that this was possible is coz " This holiday season, 1NOv - 31Jan, the library is DOUBLING your loan limit. Borrow up to 8 or 16 items, A DEAR initiative by NLB." Happy i was!

ANd then later at night, went to catch Harry Potter! Finally! ha twas a good show. No matter what others say, i say, go watch it! Its nice... esp if you have read the book! and now with this craze on books to movies movies, Im dying to catch these shows! All lined up man.. (ok not All are books to movies.. most are aniway!)

1. Chicken Little.. soo cute so must watch haha
2. The Chronicles of Narnia. --> i so MUST watch this! i must i must i must!
3. The Promise
4. Memoirs of a Geisha --> ok this is another must watch for me
5. X-Men 3.... i like wolverine.. ermm hha actually its hugh jackman haha
6. Pride and prejudice.. actually i would just like to see how it is on screen .. but dun think anione would wana watch this with me.. will there? (*hopeful look*)

and thats abt all i can think of.. and i wana watch the LOTR all 3 VCDS! haha

What an eventful day... I woke up at 6.30am to one nocturnal's dude sms --> dan ... I opened my eyes and the sky was still dark and the air was cool and cold and i felt terrible. Couldnt get to sleep last night at 2am. I think maybe not used to sleeping early.. (yea.. i know some ppl who thinks im crazy) So in the end i tossed and turned and tossed until i went to get half a glass of milk and closed my eyes and convinced my active brain to stop a while and lets take a rest. And so i felt super sleep deprived this morning aND aS if that wasnt bad enough, the minute i stepped out into the carpark, fat raindrops started to fall from the sky.. .

So afraid of being late and so i ran to the MRT station in my heels as fast as i can with my breakfast in my hands. And so i was eating and running at the same time. By the time i reached the MRT station i felt like puking.. but i caught the pasir Ris bound train right on the dot.And did i mention that the morning crowd is terrible, terrible, terrible! I dun like! : (

Halfway through the journey to Kallang, in between falling asleep standing and feeling like jelly, Who should come on board the train at Tiong Bahru but Elvina! So happy to see her. And time whizzed past, and whizzed past so fast that both of us almost missed our stop! except that elv rushed out of the train at the last minute when the train was kallang.. it was great... just that she din tell me before rushing out! lucky my reflex action fast la! hahahaah

Then begin my day as a telemarketer..except that we din begin till after lunch. haha long story man. BUt now i know elv much more better after all that talk! hahah and lunch was great with elv n liqi. and we missed poor 33 who was on a totally diff floor from us.

Thanks siwei for delivering that piece of good news to me in the midst of my feel-like-sleeping-feel-like-shouting period in the afternoon. was distinctively cheered up man. " )

AND just when i thought that was the end of an exciting day.. who should i see near my place but GAry! my fyp mate! he was standing there just looking at me la.. coz he saw me from a distance. when i saw him, i reali gave a shout coz soo shocked! gosh.. feeling so tired now.

Sometimes nowadays i feel like im in a pool of quick sand... and im sinking in faster and faster. How do you get out of quicksand? U must be cool and relaxed right. cannot struggle. The more you struggle, the faster you sink. Easier said than done. Then again maybe its not an accurate analogy, maybe this is better. Some days i feel like a little child who wants lots of chocolates.. you know its not good for you, but its just so nice but you just cant get away. Whats the remedy? you either eat till you get sick one day or you let someone else take away you chocolates now. Coz maybe without chocolates now, you ll learn to like other things. But now, maybe i need some discipline.. haha coz i cant pull myself away. If only it was as simple as chocolates and sweets. Quicksand is tricky..

*sneezes* *sneezes**sneezes* - damn.. either someone is thinking of me, or cursing me. or maybe just weather cold. haha It feels like WINTER now.. in tune with the christmas season. and im freezing here.. *shivers*

天已黑了， 是有点累了。

眼睛争不开了， 夜已静了。

轻轻的放开，悄悄的走开

什么都不一样，但她已然在。


话说少了，笑声也灭了，

看着你就好像看着一条死路。

什么都没有。

所以懂事的她，决定放弃

因为要走的路很长，争扎不下去。


没人看见，没人听见

在外下的那一场大雨。

只有她。

看见了也听见了

所以谢谢你不问也不说

因为对着你微笑的她，

却在背后泪水雨水不分。

在外下的那场大雨，

她看见了一丝阳光。

Disclaimer: Story based on fictitious characters.
The author apologizes for any coincidental portrayal of realcharacter's life.

LIke a silver thread,

It binds us all.

So fragile yet beautiful

So uncertain, yet there all the same.

When i next turn back

It maybe gone

Just a figment of my imagination.

These, moments in life,

Not to be bought.

Onli to be remembered.

Not be to regretted about,

But to just




Remember

For the first time in all my life

Someone else except me knows

I must have been a tad mad

or a tad tired...

But ask and i answered.

Maybe its the timing or maybe its just all the right questions

Feelin lighter now...

Like a biscuit tin with half the biscuits gone

or rather

A container with half the rubbish gone

Its all a bit weird at first but all in all it felt comfortable

Just like its the right thing to do.

One day

When the mood strikes

I shall empty the rest

And then i shall be free.

The date's nearing but the mind's wandering

I am willing but the mind is not

Head over heart gal, i tell myself

But these days, the heart just listens to itself.

Give me a pair of binoculars

Such that i can see further,

Such that i can see clearer...

Everything seems a little blurry now

So near and yet so far.

And yet...

A smile masks it all.

Every time i try to go away... you bring me back.

And then when im back, you make me feel like i should go.

So i think i must reali make up my mind.

Because to stay and then feel like i have to go...

But because im not as strong as i seem

so each time i dont take more than a step or two away...

And then i turn and so im back.

And that's why i never like to say bye and then turn

Because i always want to run back.

So maybe in the end

There's never ever going to be an end.

Both ways, i onli see one way

For me to let go.

What a way to start the day... talk about bad service man.. on normal days, the service is already not that freakin fantastic. The queue is the shortest BUT if you join the queue, its a guarantee plus chop that after all your friends have gotten their food from the rice stall after joining the long windy queue there, u ll still be stuck in ur queue. The so-called short queue. Think permanent jam. How bad can that be man..

Aniway the issue here is that today that aunty who is always with the earpiece was not tending the stall and in place was this aunty in red t-shirt with hair tied up in a pony tail who is ohhh sooo totally unpleasant can. ME: Aunty, 水铰面，包的。 HER: ah. 包的啊。ME: AH. and thats it la can... and later she gave me the dumplings in a plastic bag those kind you know.. and i need the box tupperware kind la. . . and i say aunty can change to box.. and she's like huh?! i thought i asked you if you wanted box and you say you wanted plastic bag?! im like... huh u dun lor but i din say that la.. i said: oh 对不起， 可能我没听到。 and of course after saying that i expect her to change it into a box for me la.. BUT NOoo..she just stood there and gave me that look.. im like so damn pissed can.. ME: ermm aunty so can like tranfer to a box? HER: 20 cents....

SHEEEESH........

Two more papers to go... you know how it feels? When you have like an elixir in front of you and so much else and you take all the rest except that elixir?! You know how that feels? It feels terrible la.. its like you took everything else except that ?! how silly can that be.. i din even see it! *logical mind says: come on, its ok... u gt most of the essence aniway since you had all the others?!* BUT the crux is not there! i say. hmm...........its like that. Man is never content and you always think of what could have been...

Duno why these nights always cannot get to sleep. And i thought im so tired every night that i can just fall asleep once my head hit the pillows.. but apparently its not to be..I just lie there and look at the sky from my bed and i cant get to sleep.. you know how some songs grow on you after you listen to it? Its like you listen to it once you like it, and then you listen to it some more and then i duno when it started to sound so sad. This is nothing like "foreva love". "Foreva love" is well.. ya. BUT this song is oh so freakin heart wrenching....and i cant get to sleep and so i listen to it and then its so sad.. the kind that gets into your heart and then i cant get to sleep somemore. But no.. im not into depression or anything coz once i dun listen to the song its ok. but its like so sad when i listen to the song，all the way straight to the heart. I think next time if i need to do a crying scene, i shall plug this song on. and the song? 黑色毛衣。

YEAY.. one down and three more to go! duno whether i'm really that happy after all. . . its all coming in a rush..

Had a grrreat dinner with Liqi @ siam kitchen.. the main course was spicccyy BUT dessert was simply yummy-delicious.. and calories laden. haha we had fried banana fritters with vanilla ice-cream and there were like 6 fritters on a platter?! Thats like so generous la. .. and there was the Red Ruby (water with chestnut with coconut milk and jackfruit smth on top of fine shaven ice) yummy!

Tonight would have been great and all plus the studying for retail except dan n i scared the freakin hell out of ourselves.. . and ended up not studying at all. It all started with a cat's mew.. and then a talk on the creatures on discovery channel to weird thoughts to the book lord of the flies..and coz the book was so damn gross and violent .. we started to think about scarier stuff and then we went on the scary movies and imagination and all that. AND THEN, as it was oh so very late already.. both of us gt damn paranoid la and every crook and cranny suddenly seems so much scarier and we expected smth to jump out at us anytime and the poor guy had to walk back to S4 ALONE after sendin me back to hall 3. ha

What a night... must pia PE today.. and i ll not think abt retail...

I MISS THIS GAL.... -->