Simple Thoughts for A Complicated Life

I loVe....

2009-07-16T08:26:00.000-07:00

I forgot how simple joy is, like when i was schooling. I am a fan! A fan of TRANFORMERS. I went to catch it with Elvina and I am hooked, fish and everything..haha.

And today I bought 2 songs of the soundtrack and I am ELATED, in fact elated is an understatement, I am delighted! hahah..such is the simple joy. And of course for those of you who know my music habits ,it is playing nonstop now!

Shiok! Hang in there peeps, it's friday tomorrow! ; )

A story

2009-07-12T09:21:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, kate saw this book she really liked. She saw it in the library and so she borrowed it back for a read. What happened was as she read more and more, she started to REALLY like the book a lot. However as it was library property, she had to return it, as much as she doesnt like it. This gave her loads of heartache and pain, and so she thought, next time, if i really like something, I should always buy it and own it.

So a few years passed, and one fine day, Kate once again saw a book she really liked. This time fortunately, she saw this book in a bookstore, so she could purchase it and have it belong to her exclusively. She was delighted and spent many an hour with the book for company. It was perfect, until one day as she read more and more, she realised she did not understand the story...the story as she had known at first seemed to have changed and now she doesnt understand the story anymore....kate was upset...What next, she thought?

After many sleepless nights over this, she decided that since she has already bought the book, she has the responsibility to at least give it her best shot to try and understand the story. So at least if anything happens, she knows that she has tried her very best and that there will no regrets. And then the book should go to someone else.....

Ballon

2009-07-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time and I am back, I always seem to find comfort in the written word. If people ask what is cruel, cruel is to give a child hope and then take it all away.....

Cruel is when you give another person hope, oh so much hope and anticipation only for them to know that it is not true, and it never will be. So much hope, and disappointment...so much to take.

You know that feeling where you want something so much, and then you think it is going to come true so you anchor all your thoughts, your hopes on it and let this carry you through each day, only to find out that in the end, it was not going to happen at all...

Life is as such perhaps...sometimes perhaps we all just need to wisen up...perhaps...

Those days

2008-09-23T06:16:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I wrote something here I must say but today I am inspired...

Last week, we went back to NTU to reminisce and what memories did it bring back. All the more sweeter when we went back together, each of us looking out from the car window, caught in our own sweet memories of our days in NTU. No one spoke, each was silent...the places in school, the hall we once lived in, seemed so familar and yet different all at the same time.

I see undergraduates who were once like us, laughing and lugging their books seemingly without a care in the world. Seemingly, at least from the outside. How quickly time flies.

For those who are still studyin in school, I have this to say, treasure the relationships and friendships around as at the end of the day, what you will treasure and reminisce about is those days filled with friends, activities and tasks which forces you to challenge yourself. And for us working folks, lets all try to not get jaded too soon and learn to revel in the little things around us.

After all, some relationships and friendships are for life. For better or for worse, so long as you have given it your best shot, there will be no regrets in the end...

Make Time for Reflection

2008-07-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

My colleague shared this article from "New Straits Times" Tuesday June 24 2008 and I thought it was a very meaningful article so I would like to share it here as well.

The power to "pack up" is the ability to stop wasteful thinking. Simply control our mind which comprises the thinking faculty, the intellect (the judging faculty) and our memory (the recording faculty).

We should encourage our mind to take a break. Shut down the production line for a while and make quietness a luxury. When our intellect asks us why it should be quiet, still and patient, tell it that the understanding it seeks only comes when it listens and observes, not when it questions and searches. Invite it to relax and just observe what is going on.

As for the memory, when our old negative tendencies trigger fear, hatred or other negative emotions, we can lovingly change them to be positive. The effect of these positive vibrations not only goes to the world outside but makes an impact on each and every cell in the body. There will be a positive response.

I have to help myself and give some time to myself to remain silent. If there is physical illness, everyone will fuss, sympathise with me and take me to the doctors. (not that this is better than any mental illnesses) But with mental illness, no one comes to my aid. So meditation becomes essential. Doing it on a regular basis, I develop a calm nature. A mind which is congested with impressions is given space to sort itself out.

- by Bridget Menezes, author of Self-Empowerment.

2008-07-01T00:03:00.000-07:00

Oh, you know how when you are anticipating something, for so long and so sure, when the plan changes, you get bitingly disappointed and this is what i am feeling now!!!

It's all about the expectations....deal with it.

2008-06-30T23:48:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, i attended my neighbor's malay wedding and it was very heart warming to see the inter-races interaction and the friendship amongst all. This mutal respect, tolerance as well as love for fellow human beings, thats what makes Singapore truly beautiful...

Amazed

2008-06-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

I am constantly amazed at how these feelings come and go. Some times when you feel like all is calm and nice, and then something happens and you feel a wave of red hot anger, and yet sometimes some things sad happen and then you feel that cold wash of pain and hurt... and yet sometimes again...

Such is the volatility of all things on earth. I read once from this book "The Solitaire" by Jostein Gaarder.It says;

"A young child sits building sandcastles in a sandbox. It constantly builds something new, something which it treasures for only a moment before it knocks it all down again. In the same way Time has been given a planet to play with. This is where the history of the world is written, this is where the events are engraved and smoothed over again. This is where life bubbles like in a witch's cauldron. One day, we ll be modelled here too from the same brittle material as our ancestors. The wind of Time blows through us, carries us and is us - then drops us again.

We are conjured up and tricked away. There is always something lying and brewing in anticipation of taking our place. Because we are not standing on solid ground, we re not even standing on sand - we are sand."

And so everything seems to be fleeting... whats the one thing that really stays true, through everything?

It all starts...

2008-06-09T05:24:00.000-07:00

It all starts with the heart and then it goes to the head...you move and it translates into actions..
You may regret it, you may not, but remember it all starts with the heart.
So be calm and strong, somethings come, somethings go.
Stay true and know what is important to you and then when the rest comes and goes, you feel happy for you know the core is true and yours and yours alone...

I found..

2008-06-08T00:27:00.001-07:00

As I was browsing through some of my writings, I found this;

Last night i heard your hearty laughter as you read what i wrote...i asked you why you laughed. But in fact, it was one of the best sounds I ve heard. Your hearty spontaneous laughter. And today I received the best present. But the best was and still is the intentions and meaning behind the present. Thank you! dated 14 Feb 2008

A promise

2008-06-07T10:23:00.001-07:00

I promise, never never to ask that question again..

Fly away..

2008-06-07T00:37:00.001-07:00

2008-05-30T02:52:00.000-07:00

2008-05-28T09:18:00.000-07:00

2008-02-22T17:39:00.000-08:00

Last night I dreamt of something so nice and wonderful that when I woke up, I started crying. Coz deep down inside me, I know that is never going to happen.

On another note, went with Elv to catch "P.S, I love you". Indeed sweet and sad at the same time...but with funny moments as with all romatic flicks. Coz as what i always believe, you must experience the cold of the night for you to appreciate the warmth of the day..and likewise because of all the funny moments, the sad bits seem so much sadder...

Well, everyone deserves to have someone love them the way Holly loves Jerry....

2008-02-12T23:36:00.000-08:00

These few days have been short of crazy...emotions have been in turmoil and things around just seem to add on to these feelings. They come and go.

And then just now, i read something. By right, i wasnt suppose to feel this way, calm and liberated. But i did. strangely enough.

In fact, today is not the first time i read that blog. I have read it before. But today, i seem to feel something new. Some people call it an insight. It's like revisiting a favorite story, re-watching an old movie. Somehow you feel like you understand it more. You see new bits you never saw before even though everything was the same. That was how i felt.

So i am happy i went back to it :)

2008-01-31T01:08:00.001-08:00

Embrace all that life has got to give...

Keep your face towards the sun and the shadows will fall behind...

:)

2008-01-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

The airport - a place of tears and laughter... where people meet and people part. Whenever I step into the airport there's a feeling that something special is going to happen. Like its not something that happens everyday. Although I am sure if you visit there (the airport) often enough or work there, it becomes normal soon after a while.

The Arrival hall, that's where the laughter is i think, but Departure hall is a different story altogether...it was so difficult. Saying goodbye finally and watching the plane go by....but i hope you're having fun on the flight and that the cold weather is not too much to take...

2008-01-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

It feels like winter in the middle of January...it's raining so much...everyday...

Prolonged winter i think. whatever happened to my sun...

It's shifted. So now the sky's empty of warmth, just little white pieces of snowflakes...

I wish...

2007-12-31T23:34:00.000-08:00

It's this time of the year again. The last day of the year. A time where you reflect and think, so what have i done for year 2007? Have i lived the year in vain? Have i lived it well and what should i do for the next year?

or is it just me? Dont take me wrong? This is different from making resolutions, its more like hmm taking stock. yes. Taking stock of your life. Once a year.

For me, 2007 has been a fruitful one. Sometimes i think im a nutcase. Sometimes i get so exasperated with all around me and then sometimes i feel so at peace. But for me, year 2007 is a year of firsts and growing up.

I think its important to be thankful and grateful for the things you have. We always want more and more is never enough. But through it all, im very thankful for the great friends that went through the year and years with me ;) (you know who you are, dont u? : ) )and very importantly, my family who knows my every flaw and tantrums and still loves me unconditionally and of course, my darling, who has been through my erratic mood swings and tantrums and whats-have-you and still stands there and looks at me like im the loveliest person in front of his eyes.

I can feel it in my bones. 2008 is going to be an even more exciting and tiring one than 2007 for sure. But we ll all do well, im sure! Cheerz to a fulfilling, blessed and great 2008!

2007-10-18T19:07:00.000-07:00

The planetary stars are not right I think, or at least not so very there......

Work seems to have gotten a live of its own and keeps on growin and growing and growing and the clutter just doesnt seem to go away........

I woke up this morning faced with a huge bill from my korea trip.. like huh.. i thought it was $0.40/min? but how come it became like times 5?! im so going to have to eat grass this month.....or next month for that matter.... its a whooping 300 bucks! for now, Singtel is gg to hear a lot from me thats for sure... argh.....i just cant comprehend but the figures sure do not lie....I must be getting something wrong here.. Either i did not UNDERSTAND properly or the blardy customer service officer was telling me nonsense then... *qswl*

But on a brighter note, im very extremely touched by the offer of the subisdy.. It was totally unexpected and im just blown away by the offer it of. No one has ever done that before....

Am i becoming stupid or what.....or do i feel that the gears are slowing down or am i being too hard on myself. I simply have no idea.....which really explains it all....i need tuition maybe..

Sigh....what a week... : (

2007-10-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

A few weeks have past, and I feel like I have grown so much....no, not sideways mind you ; ) or at least thats what i hope. :) I meant in terms of experiences. I have been to Korea and back on my first ever business trip alone and i cant reali say i did not enjoy it.....and i have experienced feelings i never thought i would have felt if you asked me months ago.....and seen things which i never thought i would...

I have learnt to enjoy certain things in life and the company of a certain someone....today i finally managed to find this song you are hearing now on my blog... Zhang Hui Mei's "如果你也听说"and thoughts filled me...

我发现站了好久

不知道要往哪走还不想回家的我

再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我

就连我也有听过我的快乐要被认可

委屈却没有人诉说夜半信仰丛白剥落

拿掉防卫剩下什么为什么脆弱时候

想你更多如果你也听说

有没有想过我想普通交朋友

还是你依然会心疼我好多好多的话想对你说

悬着一颗心没着落要怎么附和舍不得

又无可奈何如果你也听说

会不会相信我对流言会附和

还是你知道我还是我跌跌撞撞才明白了许多

冷漠的人就你一个想到你想起我

胸口依然温热许多话题关于我

就连我也有听过我想我宁可都沉默

其实反而显得做作夜半信仰丛白剥落

拿掉防卫剩下什么为什么脆弱时候

想你更多如果你也听说

有没有想过我想普通交朋友

还是你依然会心疼我好多好多的话想对你说

悬着一颗心没着落要怎么附和

舍不得要无可奈何如果你也听说

会不会相信我对流言会附和

还是你知道我还是我跌跌撞撞才明白了许多

冷漠的人就你一个想到你想起我

胸口依然温柔如果你也听说

有没有想过我想普通交朋友

还是你依然会心疼我跌跌撞撞才明白了许多

冷漠的人就你一个想到你想起我

胸口依然温柔如果你想起我你会想到什么

Today a friend told me..."many little little good things accumulate to big good things and many little little bad things accumulate to big bad things..." Isnt it amazing, at the end of the day, who knows that the little little things are the important ones....the little little things....and how often we all miss that...

Such poignant moments, in such a big big world, we all meet the ppl we meet and love the people we love, your paths cross and suddenly you find that everything is intertwined....and so now, i want to make the little things count so they add up and when you think back, you only remember the good stuff....

2007-09-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

haha..yes, im back my ardent fan! :) Your persistance has indeed paid off coz here i am!

Updates... yes updates. I seem to have a happen of blogging consistently for a while and then slack off after that. Sometimes during the day, i happen to think of this very interesting train of thought and i think to myself "ah, i should blog this up" but then..... i forget .....

FACEBOOK

Call me "sua ku" or what but recently i have been introduced to the world of Facebook... and i think, its amazing. It's so interactive and let's just say it really captures information! If you're really hooked on friendster, try facebook. Not that i am a real convert just that its really amazing what these websites do. It really can link you up to long lost friends and it's a great tool to use to keep in touch if you really do go on it often.

THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE

This phrase must have been talked about to death. The grass is always greener on the other side. Like why does everyone else lead such a good life except yourself. Everything goes smoothly for everyone else except yourself. Sounds familiar? hahaha... no no, i dun reali think like that. Just that recently i ve got a gal friend who seems to find herself in quite a fair bit of shhit and that's what she said to me. But maybe sometimes we have to really count our blessings.

Family, friends, loved ones. Everyone has their fair share of problems i think. Like how you may look at this very rich guy with nice family, nice gf, nice job nice everything! BUt really, somewhere somehow, he would have his own problems. Everyone has. But maaaybe you would say, well you would prefer his problem coz its not as problematic as yours but seriously, how would you really know? Maybe in 10 years time, you would be damn glad you din have his problem. So let's all be happy and count our blessings now, shall we?

A happy life lies not in having the best of everything but making the best of everything you have.

2007-09-19T01:10:00.000-07:00

Depressed...got scolding for forgetting to take those damn anti-biotics again...... Tell me its gg to be a better day tml.

2007-09-18T16:52:00.000-07:00

It started raining last night....

2007-09-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

You mean happiness to me.

I want to fly away for a while. Away from it all.

An empty slate, a white canvass.

To be re-splashed with colors aplenty

All we seek, really is for someone to understand us.

2007-09-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Every morning as I take the train to work, I see stories unfolding....

This morning I saw this couple on the train beside me giving each other the silent treatment. The guy tried to talk but the girl looked away and then when the seat in front of him was available, he went for it.

Throughout the journey they never did attempt to speak or look at each other again. Not even a glance. At then at one point, the gal gave him a glance and then her eyes started to water; and she looked away... I felt like passing her a piece of tissue.

But as she was alighting at Tanjong Pagar, she came forward and gave him a peck on the cheek and left. And beside me, i could feel his tensed and troubled thoughts after that.

Ah...you wonder why people quarrel when they love each other.

2007-09-11T00:25:00.000-07:00

Coughing like nobody's business... stop it, somebody stop it!!

Argh...Cant do anything now.. coz im coughin. shit.

Things always screw up altogether. damn.

2007-09-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

A picture i always look at these days.

It looks nicer day by day.

And im learning day by day to push the thought aside.

But im quietly counting down. All by myself.

Quietly, silently.

Just sometimes overcome by the frantic panic building within.

So many what ifs.

But que sarah, que sarah.

2007-09-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

Quite some time ago, i was reading the papers and i came across this. It striked something in me, and i copied it down and ever since, i have stuck this post-it on my desk.

" Chin Huat hadnt spoken of his problem because no one had asked. No one had cared to ask. Sometimes things may not be what they appear to be"

How many times have we done that. Not ask, not caring to ask and just assume it must be the way we think it to be.

2007-09-05T02:27:00.000-07:00

Finally, im blogging again. " )

Im borrowing this from Elv's blog.

Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair. It keeps you busy but gets you NOWHERE....

You know reading this makes me think so much. and i totally agree with it, so much so now. There's no point worrying.. right? Let's just enjoy the time now and see how it goes although i cant help worrying everytime i think about it. So each time i worry, i think about this rocking chair theory and i will try and push it aside and make the times now good times to remember by. haha... suddenly i feel like im living for the moment.

Last week i asked, why do people give their loved ones diamonds? Why not gold? at least gt re-sale value.. hahaha... till now, im still blown away by the answer.

.... Coz diamonds are forever ...

i cant believe i din even think of that. so now, im blown away. Yea, diamonds are forever. Then i wonder how many people reali think that way when they buy a diamond?? *grinz*

haha ya come to think of it, i got a diamond when i was 21. ahhh... now i understand. Forever 21??? : ) hahha.....

Missing you.

2007-07-04T06:05:00.000-07:00

Extremely disappointed. It feels like I ve just had buckets of cold water splashed on me. Trust me, it was an all time low. But how ironic, the way I clutched on to the handkerchief in those times. 21 hours without food. No appetite. A well rested person is a happier one? Then you're wrong. Very wrong.

2007-06-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

Calling all Ntumarket Gals!! Join the SHAPE RUN 2007!

Sorry guys, this run onli for gals.. but join us for makan after that la. ;P

So far, Jingsi and elv are coming!

Event is on 9th September. For more info, visit http://www.shape.com.sg/

Let us know!

2007-06-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

THE zara sale.. nothing less. up to 30%

Little Snippets of what we feel about the sale.

" Yea. ok.. checked out the sales during lunch and boy! was i sure shocked by the crowd! The one at liat towers is like SWARMING with women la...... the cashier queue was unspeakable AND the same goes for the fitting room queue... AND there were women with a HUGE big heap of clothes in front of them at the mirrors around the store. They decided to forfeit the changing rooms, for reasons i totally am aware of.

Me, being hardcore... joined the fitting room queue. Max: 6 pieces of clothing

Skirts... not say a lot.. the casual wear ones are nice ithink. All flora and bright. I love! The dresses too! Elv i think you would like them! Very colorful and pretty!!

BUT those suitable for work, at least for me, is EXHORBITANT. still is after the sale.. so sigh.... no loot to show for all the shoving and bustling.

O well."

-ade tan -

" likewise for marina's zara hahah

the nice knee-length skirts are going at abt 60 bucks

dresses at abt 80 or 90 (considering they were once 129 bucks.. not too bad).. BUT the queues

were damn turn-off -vomits-

and she adds on

" i'd also like to say for once, i feel that MNG sale

is better than ZARA sale.. pity though, cos zara does have such pretty clothes "

- Liqi-

"I think so so only, sizes gt problem, the queues likie liqi said was horrendous.

Luckily their mirrors r nt like those in mng which are cover up la, so can camp in front of the

mirror to try but abit unsightly and nt v accurate also its hard to pict la.. so clothes over clothes..

i just cant pict @ times"

-Jingsi-

2007-06-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

I was late today.. just all of 10 mins. But late nontheless. And all because I went straight back to bed after washing up.. The nerve of me. haha. Fortunately the boss was extremely forgiving.

A while back, I was pondering over this question. Do you love first or do you trust first?

Meaning, do you fall head over heels in love first, and then start to learn to trust that someone with your everything or do you first realise that yes, you can trust this person and then you start falling in love.

I think the fall in love-head-over-heels first then slowly learning to trust belongs to the romantics...the kind who want to be swept off their feet. You know, the kind that happens in the romance novels. Where the gal is kidnapped by this tall dark handsome brooding outlaw who is actually like the prince of the neighboring country and after being his captive, she realises he's not as tough as he looks, and starts to fall in love with him, that kind of story.

But then again if you think of it, maybe she sees some good qualities in him first, like maybe integrity, strength of character and then she falls in love with him. Right? Sooo maybe, she actually trusts him subconsciously, and then she loves him.

Seriously, I think its this subconscious thing that reali always complicate matters. When its subconscious you do not realise it and then you start doing things and you ll be wondering "now why on earth did i do that?!" coz its subconscious darlin.

Yea, sorry to digress. So back to the question. Love first or trust first?

I think, maybe it both happens at the same time. Someone told me, Love is a deeper kind of trust. And therefore as we trust, we love and as we love, we trust. No matter which comes first, its for sure that love would not last without trust.

So what's love without trust called then? Is it love? Or then maybe in most cases its lust? Coz love without trust seems stripped of emotional links and support. Now that's another story altogether and I can go on and on about this...

Tell me what you think.

And yea, the weekend's coming. But first, Im looking forward to tonight. So I m going to be extremely good and do everything in the fastest and bestest efficient way so that no OT tonight! " )

2007-06-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

It's a Tuesday!

It feels like Thursday man..... Time flies... flies flies.... Once again its close to the end of the month. There's like so many things to do everyday but I just cant seem to finish the long long list!

Life these days is quite routine but sometimes added with a sense of uncertainity. I duno why but with all the hustle and bustle around, sometimes i feel like i ve lost my sense of focus of who i want to be and what i want to do. Everything and everyone demands your attention and there's onli so many hours in a day.

Shit... I think I need to hibernate and do the zen thing for a month to clear the mind.

It's too packed and cramped now to think about anything clearly!

BUt then again..who knows whats the plan?

So the best plan is to enjoy whatever plans now and try my best to function in this circumstances... am i making sense?

2007-06-21T21:36:00.000-07:00

Always there's this nagging thought at the back of my head.

Terribly upset.

Make it go away.

2007-06-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

Gosh. It's Thursday already!

Im still caught in the GSS frenzy realli. Determined to get good buys this season, I must say, which up till now.. I dun feel very satisfied about.

Current loot includes 1 flaming red bag, 1 humongous bag, lots of lingerie, an epilator, a blazer for work, a few work clothes..... is that alot???

BUT i need more!!!! *whines*

What i really really need ppl, is loads of dresses... dresses galore.... I ve gt this thing for them.. BUT where are they all!! Cant seem to find any! Maybe I should give Forever 21 a shot. In fact.. ya i should!! and i need shoes... heels.... whatever... AND a digicam..

See.. that's like so many more things and the sale is ending in a month! Im getting a little panicky.

But then again.. it's terrible how shops just put out those old stuff during the sale and all the pretty pretty stuff u wan are still at original prices. WHICH in my humble opinion is still exhorbitantly priced.

That's the thing with shopping for things you WANT, you see. It's like I know what I wan to get, but halfway I get swamped and distracted with al the rest and in the end, not onli did I NOT get what I really wanted to get, I go away with other "ling long" purchases. ahhh.. gosh.. the perils of shopping..

Alright. There's so many things I want to buy.. Maybe by the time I've bought all I really want to buy, I would have thought up of new things I wan to buy. And Im constantly packing that room of mine. Must be all that shopping.

So if I stop shopping, does that mean I can stop that perpetual packing of the room?

*ponders*

*ponders*

*ponders*

OK, thats bullshit. Coz i ll be unhappy without my shopping and even if I have a very neat room, I ll STILl be unhappy. No point.

haah Alright, the relentless pursuit of great bargains shall not cease... at least for this period la. " )

2007-06-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

The weekend was kind. " )

I never knew steak tasted so good. It tasted great. Maybe coz u were the one giving it to me. Washed down with a mouthful of beer (onli Heineken will do). Just great. I refuse to think about the calories count. haha....

Even the rain was not a damper. Excellent.

Everything was serenely thereputic.

2007-06-13T17:25:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs a little space. Sometimes I feel like im intruding. So I ll just stand aside and give you some space.

It's good to find that rythmn. That momentum that everyone's talking about. You know, THAT momentum.

It's very conflicting. What happens if you have to go away? Emphasis on Have. It's not onli my choice. You can always choose not to go.

But of course, that's selfish. So if you have to go, go.

You just made a choice.

I ll wish you all the best and hope that u ll be happy.

But I think a part of my heart will have died in the process. Ya.. its that melancholic for me.

2007-06-13T10:08:00.000-07:00

haha.. I think im a serial blogger. Either that or I feel damn chatty today.. I wonder why....

Was sitting at the bus-stop with my MP3 player plugged in when a thought just flew into my head...

Periods of Solitude and Sorrow turn boys into
men

Everyone has a story

2007-06-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

A lot of damn conflicting thoughts man.... weird ramblings.. whimsical requests.. ahh so my style, they say. Some days I feel angsty, some days I dont. But most of all, I love it when I feel serene... like "who-cares-what-you-think-abt-me" I do what I like, whatever that makes me happy.... hahaha

Ramblings I say..... and here I go again

I was on the train to CCk last week when I saw an old lady with 2 watches on her wrist. She was sitting in front of me. I couldnt help but look. She had loose wrinkled skin and the toes on her feet were all badly bent and garled. My eyes travelled upwards.... her face.... she had white hair tinged with strands of grey all combed backwards and held together with a simple black hairband and her eyes were of those who had seen. Her expression was serene...not angry, not impatient, not sad... just serene. Like she understood the world. Ya, thats it. Like she understands the world.

I could not tear my eyes off her. I wondered. Why is she wearing 2 watches? Under my fertile imagination, it must be because her child is overseas and in order to keep track of the time zone of the country which her child is in, she is wearing 2 watches. One for the SIngapore time and the other for the overseas time.... " )

I scanned the line of faces in the cabin of the MRT. There was a very tanned, middle age man sitting at the corner.. he has a very weathered look about him and looked like the farmer-sort, if you know what I mean. He must have a story of his own too I thought. I looked at the aunties sitting in front of me.. They have stories too.. stories of love, betrayal, passion, heartbreaks. All of them has stories to tell.

On the surface, everyone seems happy. Everyone seems to be preoccupied with their work and everything else that is happening. But deep down, everyone has stories to tell. Yes, even you and me. Stories of sadness and stories of tears and laughter. These stories, we keep in us.

This brings to mind the time when we had the table talk in Vientinne Kitchen in Thailand if you guys still remember. Those were stories, my friends. True stories of real people that affected us all. Stories in you and me. Stories that made us laugh and cry. And Im touched we found each other worthwhile to share stories like that.

Yes, everyone has a story.

2007-06-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

兴福是自己DIY 的。。。

2007-05-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

The trick to being happy, they say, is to not be too
attached to anything.

2007-05-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

yea.. hi ppl.. some pics from today's very eventful day... a look at my heels.

My favorite pair of heels...

And look at what it's become after the "mentoes" moment! : ( I had to practically yank the heel of the other one out! Classic!

Well.. but just means I have an excuse to buy MORE shoes... now that my heels are spoilt and the GSS is here! What great timing!

Oh and adding on to my list-to-buy things, I wan a DIGICAM....

2007-05-22T18:53:00.000-07:00

Like Oh mY.... gosh.. my HEELss broke in like HALF?! I was walking to the train station when i felt a bit strange..as in my heels felt a bit strange.. so i checked and guess what!? The heels are BROKEN... so mentoes....anyway.. I think the sms conversation i had with my mummy is damn farnie.. check it out

Me: Mummy!!! my heels broke again!!!!

Mum: So how now do u have a slipper in e office.

Me:ok la.still can walk. not say i walk around a lot so np. anyway not first time happen. i quite pro at this kinda thing already so alright lor

Mum:Dad said also not e last time gg to happen *im like.. huh huh huh!!*

Me: Aiya...u know why. I think my shoes all too low quality. mayb its time i ugrade to like
ninewest and aldo.

Mum: no need. I advise you to walk more lady-like.

!!!!!

2007-05-20T22:26:00.000-07:00

Yippeee ! We just got tickets for dim sum dollies! July is soo gona be the month for plays! Already have 3 on hand. Gosh.. *excited* : )

And yes... the Great Singapore Sale is so around the corner! Am I happy or what. I have things I wana buy this season.. and sooo even though its not Christmas! I have a wana-buy-list! Here it is and if you so happen to know where I can get good bargains for these stuff or have any opinions about the items I wana buy, tell me tell me tell me!!!

Ade's Wana-buy List

1. An Epilator.. (my best friend should be able to provide some insights on this)
2. A digicamera *to maintain the cam-whoring habits*
3. More work clothes....
4. A well cut jacket for work
5. A pair of sneakers...and
6. duno what it's called.. but u know those jackets that like cover the arms onli?? hahha...

Hmmm alright! That's all for now.. But its quite a lot already Ithink.. hehee

2007-05-16T20:57:00.000-07:00

My dear friends, I ve been away for such a long time, Idont even know where to start.

But let me begin with what's on my mind right now. Expectations, dear friends is a very dangerous thing. It gives you room to be sorely dissappointed. But on the other hand, it also sets the stage for standards and standards... if you know what I mean.

It's a little random but isnt it strange, when 2 people get together, they are looking for security but in the end, they become more vulnerable...to each other of course. Not saying its a bad thing but it does have its cons. Being vulnerable I mean. Being vulnerable is so not a good feeling to have.

Watched the "Bridge to Terabithia" with my BFF yest...*btw, it stands for Best Friend Forever* It's so sad!!!! Dont look at the movie like very fantasy kind and kiddish.. but it reali shows that life is so very vulnerable AND fragile. We should reali treasure the ppl around us. Everyone that steps into our life and who has been a friend.

A Strange Phenomenon

2007-04-08T03:42:00.000-07:00

Is it an Asian thing? The inability to verbalise love, care and concern.

How many a times have you looked at someone and wanted to say I care or even I love you but have held it back.

How many a times have we find it so easy to utter endearments over smses and msn but find it hard to say it face to face.

This, it just dawned onto me....

And how come some people are so good at saying these? Hmmm family upbringing? Education? Or simply just a different mindset? Or maybe its the different experiences that each of us has gone through...

Or is it something more deeply embedded in us. Pride? Hard-core pride or fear or is it uncertainity.

Someone tell me.

And Im bloggin today

2007-04-07T02:22:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at my previous post, and guess what, Im back after one month. Again. hahaha.....

And if you are reading this, thank you for your efforts to come check out my page again and again only to be disappointed. Blame it all on my laziness or rather, the lack of strong emotions. The reason being, I tend to blog only when i FEEL smth thus my blog is mostly abt how I think abt things, how I feel, seldom about what im reali doing each day. BUT yes, I am feeling smth today....

1. I feel clear-headed and on track.

Why? Hahaha the reason I shall reveal soon! Hmm but seriously, what have i been amusing myself with in the past month? I have been watching this drama serial. Im sure a lot of you would have watch it....

I think it was aired a very long time ago. This is a story about how an upstart young man had to start from scratch to build up his father's empire again after countless betrayals and difficulties. And of course there was a love story in the midst. No story is complete without a love story embroiled in it man. : ) But the one phrase in there which reali stuck in my mind is 要做好生意，要先学会做人。 It's very true. Even more with what i ve gone through so far..... o well...

2. I miss the bunch of ppl in REDANG!

HAHAHahah.. yes abscene makes the heart grow fonder! Really hope you guys are havin loads of fun there. And for those who need unwinding , (and i know a few who seriously need to unwind!) this would really be a good chance I hope!

3. Angel got my scratch-a-gift card!

I was so worried it will not reach her! Coz blur blur me.. threw the letter into the Singapore mail instead of overseas... AND i did not use an air-mail envelope somemore la... heng.... made it there.. albeit a bit long. BUT well better late than never, I guess! Sooooo.... angel!! A CD! tell me what kind u want! (haha isnt this fun? A present in 2 parts! Recepient involvement I call this.)

4. Alright and after that looong hiatus, here's a peep at the things i adore!

Annd what did they say about pictures speaking a thousand words? Here they are.

An M&M dispenser complete with chocs inside! But playing with it is fun enuff!

And look at this! You would so expect to find smth like that in my room right! So, kudos to the babe who got this! Great taste! '' )

Ok, not very well captured here. BUt there is actually a four-leaf clover in there. '' ) Me likes.

And the whole hoard of it! Love it all this year. and ya.. you din see wrongly.. those are boy-shorts on the left... hahhaha

Alright.. thats all for today, I ll be back reali soon. I promise. = )

2007-03-10T11:45:00.000-08:00

Im back! After a one month hiatus from blogging! Dun even know where to start and what to type. There's like so many things to do. So many things I want to do. But so little time.

And im real glad I managed to drag myself out of my MIA-mode. hahaha... Now I will try to get out of my "late"-mode. Thank you guys for the night yesterday as well. The company is as usual great. Love it always. The gift was a spot-on. " )

Pictures coming up soon. hahah.. I ll take a pic of it and post it up! So many things to say, so many things to do. I ll blog again real soon. Let me go sort out some of my messy thoughts. See ya!

2007-02-09T06:23:00.001-08:00

Ok...long awaited post! Tagged by Mq! " ) 6 weird things abt me.hmm im thinking, im thinking...

1) Once I bathe, I dun wan to step out of the house. So usually I will bathe only before I go to bed.

2) ...*wa a bit hard to think... I think you, my friends will find it easier to complete this post abt me* hahha When I get really angry, I dun make noise, I just keep very very quiet. And when Im very scared, I dun make noise too. My hands just get very cold.

3) I dun like to watch scary shows and movies. The last one I watched was SHUTTER. I watched it twice with the same gang and yet I still closed my eyes.

4) Of all the accessories I have, for so many years, I dun wear rings at all. No idea why, just dun like seeing it on myself. hahah.. now that's weird, isnt it?

The second last one! " )

5) When I start reading a book, more specifically, a novel, I CANNOT put it down. I have to finish reading it THEN i can start doing other things...It's reali quite disruptive. hahha

And the last one!!

6) I think the best.. when im Bathing...

hahhaa........

2007-02-07T22:25:00.000-08:00

There are many kinds of people in this world. There are some who let go easily of people, of things and memories around them. And there are those who hold on tightly to every shred. Which one are you? There are people who are strong believers of the word FATE and some of the word destiny. Are you one of those?

What is FATE? Fate means the opportunity to meet you in the midst of the hoards of people around. Fate means being able to meet and be friends with you because of a twist of fate and events. Fate means having our paths crossed even when there are crossroads aplenty at every junction.

Destiny means you believe that every single thing is planned out. And no matter what you do, the end is still the same. That's destiny. Which one do you believe in?

I am a believer of fate. And I believe that destiny, you can decide. You make the choices you make and then you face the consequences. Are you someone who hold on tight or do you let go easily? I am someone who hold on tight once i decide to.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone letting go? Because I feel like I have. Some times you wait for people to make the first move, you wait for people to call, you wait for people to ask. You wait. At the end of the day, a single word pride kills everything. And then the bubble bursts and its yet another day. What is every one waiting for? And yet we still wait.

We all do, dont we? Deep down we are.

2007-02-02T00:38:00.000-08:00

This story is so familiar...... It's as if I ve seen it somewhere. If this were a story, then yet again Im one of the characters in it.

There must be something about me. The fact that I am getting embroiled in something like this again. Is there? Everyday I ask myself....again?????? The answer is still the same. No....No...No... BUT life has a weird way of putting things in your path. Will it be the same again? I duno. I guess I can only wait and see. Do I want it to be the same again? That's really a question I have to ask myself. And I dont think I will get the answers anytime soon.

Sometimes I feel like the higher power up there has already planned everything. You know, like how a scriptwriter writes his script? Everything is planned. Right down to what is going to be said. At the end of the day, after the script is written, he lies back and watch it all unfold. Sometimes, I feel that way. Just sometimes. Other days, I believe you cannot change what happened, but the only controllable you have is how you react to it. But of course, we are all humans after all.

Have to be very careful about handling this..... hmmm.....sigh.....*blardy hell*

*thoughtful*

2007-01-28T23:30:00.000-08:00

Something I came across...which touched smth inside of me....To you, I hope it does too.....

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they havent thought about it, dont have it on their schedule, didnt know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I ve tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didnt suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched "Jeopardy" on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, " How about going to lunch in a half hour?" She would gas up and stammer, "I cant. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain." And my personal favorite: " It's a Monday." She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches..We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We ll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We ll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We ll go on a second honey moon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days are shorter and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of "Im going to," " I plan on," and "Someday, when things are settled down a bit.."

When anyone calls me " seize the moment " friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you re ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an ice berg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now..go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to . . . .not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the dly? When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, "We ll do it tomorrow." And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say "Hi"?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift. .. . Thrown away...Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance..."

2007-01-21T23:15:00.000-08:00

I get reminded of particular periods of my life when some songs are played. These scenes flash vividly in my mind. And the feelings that come with it.

The sense of smell works the same way. Like the smell of new leather goods, the smell of that perfume on a gf, that car perfume u always smell, the colonge of an ex-colleague. Those always bring back memories. They just come floating back whether you want it or not....

Today that strangely familar smell of a jacket on someone came wafting back to me when I unfolded the shirt. And I paused in whatever I was doing.

.Un-erasable. no matter what. fond memories. bittersweet. Just for me.

2007-01-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

It feels like ages since the last time I blogged. And the less you blog, the less you get the hang of blogging.. @ least thats how I feel.

Thank you dear ones for the show of support in my recent days of chaos. It made the days sweeter and easier to bear.

Updates? I dun even know where to start. It's just been all a whirlwind. And if this is what the older folks meant by experience, then bingo! I think now I ve really got it. Fast-tracked.

Something more light-hearted.... 2 events in the past week which I totally love.

1. KTV session. Love the company and the food but more so the company. Irreplaceable. The best peeps to hang out with when Im down.... the tons and tons of food and not to mention the coconut ice-cream AND mango flavoured one. I should have ate that right from the start. Spirits quite down that day but thankyews for trying to lighten everything up.

2. Caught "The Last Dance" under the most ridiculous circumstances. The movie was good. I reali liked it. Just that its a bit confusing and all. I intend to watch it again. So anyone who wans to watch it, pls jio me along again??? And coz of the nature of work, my movie partner actually missed the last part of the very complicated movie! GoSH... talk abt ill-timing. But I TOTALLY understand. Why? Coz we are in the same line... *sheesh*** But back to the movie, there are some pretty awesome lines in there. MUST watch...

Alrights.. that's all for now.... just a peep into my life. " )

2007-01-10T21:27:00.000-08:00

Im so sad and worried, i think im gg to cry.... : (

2007-01-07T23:48:00.000-08:00

U blow so many bubbles in life. And inevitably some always get burst. But you still continue blowing those bubbles. Such is the beauty of the fighting spirit in us.

What I thought I ve forgotten, Ive actually not. When I dreamt of it again, I awoke with that terrible thumping feel in my heart. I wonder when will it be gone. Forever banished.

Life can be a hectic race or a leisurely walk in the park. What have we chosen? Or have we not chosen at all. In the midst of all these, have we forgotten what really brings joy to us?

I ve not. I ve just kept it somewhere for the time being. For reasons only known to me.

2007-01-01T00:50:00.000-08:00

Hello 2007. Goodbye 2006. " )

What shall I say? Haha.. hmm... 2006 has been an eventful one for me.. VERY eventful to say the least. Here are a few highlights.

1) The first thing that came to my mind was my extensive travelling in 2006, if I may say. It was a record 5 times, totalling up to close to 2 months in all! It's addictive!*winkz* And Im gg overseas in Jan again too..... oooo

2) Emotional Growth is an impt part in 2006. Friendships were cast in stone, others were established. There were sad moments and there were happy ones.. But every single one counts, coz it makes me into the me i am now! " ) You just get stronger. And of course with every single experience, you grow up just a little. hahha..

3) Graduated! It was a moment in life. You know, how i always say there are moments? This is one of them. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

4) Work. Finally cast into the working world. Am I having a great time? Let's just say, im learning so much more. Glad to have met some great ppl along the way too.

2006 is a bitter sweet year for me. Through all the years, 2006 is the most significant. And I got to understand ME. A little better too. " ) Happy 2007 my dear friends. May we remain as steadfast in our friendship and may 2007 be a fruitful one for us all! CHEERS!

2006-12-26T23:00:00.000-08:00

What would you do if one day you realise it's trickling away from you... just like sand in your hands. Everyday you hold on to it, and yet just like second nature, it trickles away. Like sand. Through your fingers.

Just open your hands and let it all flow?

What would you do?

And dun you think you can change anyone. That must be the silliest thought any one can have.

That feeling of helplessness. You ever felt before? When you just watch it all unfold and yet you cannot stop it. When your heart clenches and unclenches and yet you know you must carry on.

Bittersweet.

It never rains. But pours.

*feelin a tad melancholic tonight*

2006-12-25T08:45:00.000-08:00

It has been a day of Highs and Lows....

On the 24th afternoon itself, i felt the same tinge of disappointment I once felt so often in the past. And it hurts to know that I can still feel this way. ..It was this and smth else. ..

It got better as the day went by though...Company was great at my colleague's place...Got lost once again though.. this time, twas his fault... But its ok, we both made it in the end. haha

Christmas with the NTUMarket was as usual a boisterous affair. I would never wana forfeit christmas with u guys.. such a fun bunch and oh, what good memories this bunch of ppl bring to me.

Watched shutter for like the second time.. and fell asleep near the ending.

Thanks Jingsi for getting me exactly what i wanted! Love it to bits. And for jamie and elv, thank you dear gals as well! Love them v much!

It was a day of Ups and Downs.. but more Ups. ..

Merry Christmas Folks...

2006-12-22T09:45:00.000-08:00

Had a good talk with a dear friend tonight. I know sometimes we dun talk much and we both know it, but whenever we do, I reali appreciate the friendship. " )
And you know who u are! *winks* yes you!

AND this year's gift exchange started off fabulously. I received one that I superly like! Its a notebook and this hp pouch which i ve been staring at for the longest time possible! and I got it today!

Christmas is coming.. and im frazzled... *argh*...

2006-12-20T22:32:00.000-08:00

Smth doesnt feel right. Im all scared and frightened. What's wrong? Pls let everything be alright. No other wishes at all. Just that one wish.

2006-12-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

It has been raining for the THIRD day in running so far.....

A colleague said to me, " I think the South China Sea is drying up"....

Im an expert on ELECTRICAL SWITCH BOARDS as a result of the rain as well...

BUT admist all these . . . Im weirdly starting to like the rain....coz i got myself a see-through brolly.. so now when i walk under my brolly, i can just lift my head and see the sky and the pitter patter rain right above.

And as I walked alone along the streets under my see-through brolly, I actually felt happy. " )

2006-12-18T07:40:00.000-08:00

Yea.. its been a WHIRLWIND indeed. A few significant thoughts.

1. Im glad, reali glad, that i ve got some sensible, level-headed friends ard. Sometimes i get a bit rash and do things that even I never thought I would. And in this instance im so glad I actuallly thought abt askin my friends. These level-headed ppl who stopped me from doin smth rash. If I din rem wrongly, I think i vaugely remembered being scolded as well.. :(

2. I spent one of my best weekends today. Back in NTU no less. Company was surprisingly not too bad. Drive level topped up to the brim.

3. And I simply cant believe Christmas is like just Next week!? It's so soon! Im not ready for it yet! Went shopping with Elv on a few occassions and she has just convinced me to put up a XMAS LIST so that the buyer would have an easier time.So here it is...

Frankly, i duno whats wrong. But there isnt much im wishin for this year. U know, like THINGS.. hmm I have wishes.. but they are those that cannot be bought with money. So I dun think i can ask for them here.. hmmm BuT OK, with some help and prompting.. here are a few items i would smile at if I unwrap the wrapper and its in there!

A. I have this thing for T-shirts with the word PRINCESS on it. No surprises here right.. So its pretty simple here. A T-shirt with the word PRINCESS on it, preferably the "bling bling" kind. Background can be black or white. BUt i think white is better. smth like that. .

B. Next, hmm.. im having difficulty at this point already.. Hmmm how abt THE CRANBERRY SET from The Body Shop. Super like cranberries. I like Cranberry bread, Cranberry Vodka, Cranberry.. you get the idea...

C. I saw a PRINCESS - Crown ring with elv on sat! which shop I forgot.. but I must like it quite a bit coz I dun usually wear rings and yet im still thinking abt THAT particular one.....

Smth is wrong this year.. I dun seem to be able to think much of things i wana buy.. .. .

D. I think this may be a little out of range, But VERA WANG'S PRINCESS would be nice.

E. OK, this would be good too.. I want a HORSE-SHOE necklace.. Dun ask me why, but i ve always wanted one. .. Not the small feminine kind, but the larger bling bling kind. Ok, I think this is one thing, I ll reali be excited to have.

F. ANnnd how abt a FOUR LEAF CLOVER... in a bracelet, keychain, necklace, softtoy.. in any form.

ALright, thats abt it.. quite easy right? " )

2006-12-13T20:16:00.000-08:00

Just 2 months and yet so many things have happened.

I dun even know where to start and what to say.

Actually, I feel kinda weird? In what sense? I also duno. haha.. hmm

It's messy.

And yet calming and defining at the same time. But of course one should not be rash and jump into things one do not know of well. But doesnt mean we cant take a risk?

But of course.. its good to be slow AND steady.. ok, maybe not neccessarily SLLLOOOOW BUT steady is good. steady and good. ok.

Ok. hmmm.. Just go with the flow. All the best.

Im talking to myself.

2006-11-28T13:00:00.000-08:00

Im jetting off again.....

Someone said: Are you living out of a suitcase?!!!!!

At least I know u ll miss me. I ll call.

2006-11-24T23:46:00.000-08:00

This post is long over due. In order not to confuse things, I shall use the date which I was back. - 24th Nov.

I will start this post with IM HOME!!! Im always "Im home!!" these days.. coz im out of the country so much. This time. .. its on board my fav cruise liner. I love the stars and I love gazing out into the vast ocean with the sea breeze blowin in my face... pictures speak a thousand words... so let's let the pics speak for themselves.

Caught un-awares......

Yet another un-awares shot.. compliments of my bro....

My daddy made me go to the gym with him!!!! super shagged... look at all the dumbells at the side!

There were a lot of Indian visitors this time. It was a company trip for them. Thus the ship's chefs made sure there were Indian cuisine. AND i got to enjoy my "papdum" all the time!

And this is where I spent a lot of money on board.. the arcade... I think the games reali bring out ur violent streak man. .. . hmm. haha

And somewhere along the way, it rained....look at the wet wet floor...

After the rain.... a shower of brillant colors...

And sidetrack abit.... here's all that's left of my manicure by the time I was on the cruise liner....

2006-11-21T00:40:00.000-08:00

I'm Home!!! 4 days whizzed by in the blink of an eye. Waited so long with anticipation for it and now im back, with more clothes, more laugh lines and less money. haha Before everything fades away, I want to blog abt a few memorable moments in the trip for me.

1. Gg on a trip with the 3 dudes is in itself very memorable already. Elv's savy-ness *winkz*, Jamie's infectious laughter and dan's admirably ever cheerfulness. They were a joy to be with everyday. So wun get sick seeing them like 24hrs a day every day, hahaha...

2. On the second night, we managed to get on a cruise by the river.. compliments of Jamie's dad. *Thanks uncle* That was really good. We had good food, good view, great ambience and nice rose wine. It doesnt hurt that the music was fantastic too. Company was the best of course. It was a night of many coincidences. At least for me.

Firstly we wanted to sit in the open coz we wanted to get a better view of all the landmark places but we could not do so coz the whole cruise was fully booked. Thus we had to make do with an inside table. But who knows, it started pouring halfway. hahah and thus it fully proved the point, everything happens for a reason and just because you dun know the reason doesnt mean its a bad thing!

Secondly, they started playing "Never had a dream come true" by Sclub7 and "One in a million" from the Miss Congeniality soundtrack. And as I sat there looking out into the river... memories just kept flooding back.

And lastly, I had to hear "Let it be" playing live just as we were leaving the place.

3. Chatuchak market was sprawling huge. We would never be able to finish looking at every single store there and we went back twice!!!! The second time was Sunday evening and apparently the place closes at 5.30pm. which we did not know of course. So we were all surprised to see the shops closing. BUT the biggest surprise of all came when we heard the national anthem playing and EVERYONE.. from the handicapped uncle on the street to hawkers and all, standing ramrod straight and not talking. We decided to follow suit as it was "when in rome do as the romans do" And so for that few spilt seconds, I can just imagine the whole of bangkok, or at least Chatucak came to a standstill. You could even hear the flies whizzing abt. And then , as soon as the anthem was over, in just one spilt second, everything bussled back to live..... we were..... *jaws dropped* was the right expression.

4. The next incident which is imprinted in my memory also happened in Chatuchak. Dan was doing traffic control for us gals, coz we were in diff shops and then he stepped into a drain. Super shocked. Luckily there was no blood or anything. It was a shock cum unbelievable and a little guilty feeling all mixed together. hha.. Let me explain..

Shock coz he was standing behind me one moment and then the next moment he was standing in the drain, Unbelivable coz he's so cheerful all the time.. flitting abt like a butterfly, always keeping the spirits up.. guilty coz I was feeling a little down at that time and not helping in keepin the spirits up. hahha.. and why? *a little secret* Elv knows but i swear i ll tell u 2 real soon, dan and jamie

5. On our last night in Bkk, we decided to have a good dinner at this place called Vientinne Kitchen. To cut a long story short, the ambience there was fantastic, there were gals dancing, guys doing swordplay and the ambience was just super and the most memorable thing was the long talk we had at the table, with laughter and tears. I think for a moment i scared myself too. Amlost finished the tissue at the table. I dun think i ll ever forget that table talk. It like a level up, to understand a little more abt the events in each other's life.

6. Patpong *the red light district* made me feel like i was in amsterdam again. I was clinging on the jamie and elv and dan was on high alert mode even though he looked like he was gg to sleep anytime. He was like "mai mai mai" * "no" in thai*all the way to the guys at the side touting the sleazy shows.

7. AND this i MUST SAY... MUST MUST MUST SAY.... the traffic in bkk was as usual not great. There were sooo many cars and we dun even see pedestrain crossings much! AND there was this stupid taxi driver who besides knockin a lot of money out of us for a short distance, did not want to send us straight to our hotel steps! HE dropped us at the other side o fthe hotel and we had to jaywalk across 2 busy streets with cars that were practically moving non-stop!!! AND ME, who dun even jaywalk in singapore, was terrified. AND my friends there were so gungho can... the 4 of us were holding hands so that we could cross at the same time and they said cross in front of the BUS!! a bus!! I was frozen shock... couldnt move and the bus came nearer and nearer and at the last moment, elv half dragged me across the street. My heart was in my mouth man..... . . .. .. scary

I always feel that trips like that make us all into better person and enable us to understand each other more. haha It is now one of my rainbow in the year 2006. " ) Thanks for the great company!

IR-RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOUR

2006-11-16T12:00:00.000-08:00

Met with such IR-RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOUR on my way to work that I simply had to blog abt it...

This morning as I was on my way to work, I witness the pea-brain workings of a driver on the roads. To get to my work place today, I had to pass by an ERP gantry. It was along an expressway and the cars' were whizzing by at speeds like 80-90km/h. And suddenly, I had to do an Emergency brake. I craned my neck to look at what happened. There was a string of stationary vehicles in my lane.

APPARENTLY, 1 stupid car just suddenly stopped in the middle of the roads! Why?!! COZ HE forgot to put in his cash card into the reader... so Irresponsible! Luckily all the cars behind could pull to a stop and there was no accident. Can you imagine if the cars behind could not stop in time?

It would be *bang-bang-bang* one after another after another.. a whole string of bangss....

There's a rule in Singapore that in a road accident, usually the car behind is at fault. But in some cases, its the cars in front. Just like this case.

Thus ALWAYS check the back before you brake dear drivers... even if the speed camera is up ahead, you forgot to put in your cashcard into the reader or you just want to slow down coz you are wondering which direction to take.... BEFORE YOU BRAKE, pls check your rear mirror and make sure its safe to do so...Dun engage in such irresponsible behaviour, you may just ruin someone else's whole life. .. ..

*a pissed-off principessa*

2006-11-15T22:20:00.000-08:00

It's so easy to meet people and make new friends.

But in the end,

We can only last if we really trust.

*A moment of enlightenment in the bustling afternoon*

2006-11-14T17:27:00.000-08:00

hahah..Look! I JUST realised smth. I blow many many colorful bubbles everyday. Big round ones... colorful ones.

AND EVERYDAY.... i will meet some idiots who will just burse my bubbles. So blardy evil right. Am i angry?? hahah.. noooooo im not. I ll just blow new ones. ..

AND a man who's very dedicatedly at work is a very sexy sight indeed. Indeed indeed. Esp if the features are all right too. haha..

2006-11-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

" )

ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

2006-11-12T01:52:00.000-08:00

Statement of the night:

You must be brave and be there. Coz she just wants to hold your hand.

One experienced father to another soon-to-be dad on how he should be during his wife's pregnancy.

What I felt then:

Admiration and respect for the man who said that.

2006-11-11T05:30:00.000-08:00

Got a pleasant shock today. I squealed, "Gasps!! reali ah!!!!!" Thanks ah for bringing the pool smell to me. The power of 2. I would reali like to think that you were here to see that im kicking and alive though. hhaaha. Much appreciated.

Gt an msn msg from an MIA guy also.. . .. BUT he's still MIA.. coz i wasnt ard to reply... MIA all the way lor.. well done.

3am: Got dragged to supper @ Chinatown. I din know it was so active during this kinda 鸟不生蛋time... it was sure crowded man. Had porridge and deep fried pig organs....!!!!They tasted surprisingly good! Good variety there man. One day bring u all there also. But of course must be at those 鸟不生蛋 time.hahah

5am: Feel like dying already. Nose starting to run. Watching those adverts received over from Andy. Wishing I can go home soon. Actually feel like flagging a cab soon. But u know what? Silly me onli have 5 bucks in my wallet.. sigh... so super.

Im so tired. I think I can just bathe and then collaspe on my bed. I ve never thought of it in a better light. And frankly, I dare not look at the mirror now. I think I look a wreck.

2006-11-09T11:40:00.000-08:00

And im very FEDUP with a lot of things too. Just because I dun do anything abt it now, doesnt mean I m not gg to. There's a limit to my patience and tolerance. One day I might just burst and there' ll be no turning back too. I can just see it happening.

That's it. Im angry.

2006-11-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

I WAS WAITING TOOOOOO, WHY DIDNT U THINK OF THAT $%#@#@ . .. .. *sniff sniff*

Aniway...dear folks, Im currently at home now. Coz im on MC. Duno what kind of infliction im suffering from. MC yet again.. sigh sigh sigh.....

I asked the doc;

Me: Is there anything wrong? I ve been to see you quite often in the last few months..

Doc: Hahahhaah

Me: *irritated* hmm so is there?

Doc: Are you in touch with anything foreign these 5 months?

Me: Ermm ya... my work is smth new.

Doc: Oh so maybe is ur work....

Then he paused a bit and said

Doc: Oh maybe ur room also. Must keep ur room tidy...

Me: . . .*****oh hmm ok.

Thursday. Friday to come. No work tml too. Coz im down for night operations.

R.E.S.T

2006-11-08T18:55:00.000-08:00

It's Mid week. Wednesday. As promised in my previous post, let's talk about smth close to heart. The F word. FATIGUE.

As defined in M-W,

Fatigue --> a: weariness or exhaustion from labor, exertion, or stress b : the temporary loss of power to respond that is induced in a sensory receptor or motor end organ by continued stimulation

That's not all. Apparently there are different kinds of fatigue.

1. Mental Fatigue

This can be caused by continual mental effort and attention on a particular task, as well as high levels of stress or emotion. Basically, any mental process that goes into overload can result in this disorder.

I think this is the most common during our exam periods. hahha.. mental fatigue AND mental anguish. hahaaa. Anyone still suffering from mental fatigue?

For this kinda fatigue, you just need to go and take a short break and make sure your body has enuff oxygen. So go breathe... breathee...

2. Chronic Fatigue (Psychological Fatigue)

This is a terrible fatigue to have. This is like a long term fatigue that doesnt go away even if you sleep. coz its psychological. This kinda fatigue can surface when you are stressed over a long period of time. Like if you're stressed at work for like 6 months or so. *hints hints*

Or you have smth on your mind. What's so special about this kinda fatigue is that it fluctuates and unlike physical fatigue, it is lessened by activity and tends not to interfere with duties and responsibilities. It works this way, the more things u have to do, the more occupied you are and then you wun think about some things and so it reduces ur psychological fatigue. This is so unlike physical fatigue where the more you do the worse the fatigue becomes.

For this kinda fatigue, you need a long break. Like a vacation or a trip. *memememe*

3. Muscle Fatigue (Physical Fatigue)

This happens when you have a lot to do and no break. Physical activties that is. Like if you have been carrying a lot of heavy loads and stuff like that. Or you just did a run and feel like dying after that. The best remedy for this? Rest rest rest.

That's all folks. All abt fatigue. Wish you all well. Battle fatigue. Whatever fatigue snydromes you have, pls avoid at all costs, chronic fatigue.

2006-11-06T00:50:00.000-08:00

* Poor gal, no hot guys, a dinosaur, and lots of other hot babe. Im sure ur the hottest! And I miss on-ing my lappie and seeing you online*

Im so impulsive. U know how sometimes ppl suffer from post-purchase dissonance? I think I m having a little of post confession dissonance.

Shit.. I was rash, still am rash AND i dun think im gg to be un-rash (if there's such a word) anytime soon. I always thought i had a good head on my shoulders. Apparently sometimes it goes haywire a fair bit. *sighs* Wonder what was I thinking. Never in my wildest dream would I have decided to do smth so ridiculous. But all there is, is just post confession dissonance. No hate or anything of that sort. And I truly wished you would believe me with all ur heart. If there's one feeling I dun have in me, that must be hate. I dun believe in hating anyone at all. Coz I believe that there's a reason for everything that happens, and just because I duno the reason, doesnt mean its a bad thing.

Pool was good. So long as I dun get trashed, I think its good. HAHA..easily satisfied. Company was hilarious. Ask the one who kept *sighing* He looked like the gal bringing him off to sell. haha and all that farnie sub-titles reali tickled my funny bone. Bought a new top in dark navy blue. I hate blue. But i like dark navy blue. haha contradicting.

The new year's coming. On my balance sheet,
1) A buffet dinner to come
2) A present to give away because of a blardy stupid tic tac toe
3) Smth I promised a year ago....
4) Smth I bought for a gal but never got to sending it out.

Haha.. enuff on that... it reminds me of accounting...

It's gg to be an interesting week ahead. I ll make it an interesting one. Will share smth close to everyone's heart in the next post! Till then!

2006-11-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

A friend told me this,

"Life throws you many little pebbles until you get what its trying to tell you. And then if you r still stupid, it throws u a boulder. And then you will regret it. When you had the chance to get your act right, you din. Coz you ignored those pebbles. Now when the boulder comes, you get it. But it takes so much more to get your act together. "

So these days the phrase, "life throws you many little pebbles" keep ringing in my mind.

To you, good luck tml! I hope you will enjoy urself! 4 fat gals, 6 hot guys and one skinny pretty friendly gal. haha...

无话可说，比争吵更折磨。。。。。可是在同时，两人之间的舒服沉默是无可取代。。。

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

妈妈，我什么都没说，可是你一眼就知道我心里是怎么想的。我知道你知道。

2006-11-03T22:05:00.000-08:00

That one big word FATE. How is it that upon sight, you like some ppl and some you dun. You just dun. Do you believe in KARMA? I definitely do. Like money karma, relationship karma, work karma, life karma. haha..

This is such a big big world and yet you meet the people you do. Don't you ever wonder what made you crossed paths, get to know each other and all? Some ppl come and go, some worm their way into your heart and stay there forever. Is it reali how we treat each other? Or is it some other thing?

And so some things, I believe you cant take too hard. You can just take it in stride. Have you ever heard the story about the monk? It goes like that;

" There was this gal whose bf left her after 7 years together,*maybe its the 7 yr itch* haha im kiddin.. the email just states 7 years . OK, i go on. The gal was of course devastated. She was heartbroken and wanted to take her own life by the pond. And then a monk came by and stopped her and asked her what was the matter? She was super devastated and told the monk the whole story. "I loved him so much for all these years, how could he do that?!", she wailed.

Then seeing the poor gal looking so sad, the monk took out an old mirror and told her to look into it. And there in the mirror, she saw these scenes; There was a long stretch of beach and upon closer look, she saw an exposed dead body on shore. It lay there for a fair bit of time before someone walked past. But the person did not do anything about the body. This person just gave it a glance and walked away. The second person that came along took out a piece of cloth and covered the body before walking away. And the third person that came along dug a hole and buried the body.

The images faded away and the gal looked puzzled. She turned to the monk with a questioning look.

The monk put the mirror away and explained. That body belonged to your bf in his past life. The first person who just walked past it, they were not fated to meet in this life. The 2nd person who covered his body? That was you, my girl. And so in this life, he took care of you for 7 years. And the 3rd person who buried his body, he will take care off his whole life. And that will be his wife. So, dun be too sad, my gal. With that, he gave her a patz and left."

And that my friend, is the story that I cannot forget. Im not sure how many of you believe in things like KARMA. But, i do. I suddenly felt like blogging about this because I suddenly got to thinking how all our paths crossed. So many ppl in the country and yet, we meet the ppl we meet. So many ppl to choose from and yet we choose the ppl we choose.

It's fate and good karma all rolled into one, my friends. " )

But of course, fate lets you meet the ppl u meet. It still takes loads of give and take, care and concern and the effort to make it all work!

2006-11-02T22:35:00.000-08:00

Smth I gt from one of my friend's blog. haha

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

Haha.. sounds familiar?

2006-10-31T00:30:00.000-08:00

在这冷冷的夜晚里，我忽然有种哭笑不得的感觉。

也不知为和，就是在有些时候，觉得没人了解。

又和必呢？

看起来最需要安慰的人，就真的最需要安慰了吗？

人就是那么的瞎也同时那么的笨。

就让那坚强而不掉眼泪的人自己在那程受一结吧。

也有些人会怪他。

怪他要一幅不在乎的样子。

人家说哭很累但笑也很累。

哭笑不的。

2006-10-30T00:57:00.000-08:00

Special Mention of the day:

*Burps...* Very full. Just 2 of us.. and so much food. a WHOLE table filled with it... But thanks, it chased the Monday blues away. Far far away...

On the topic of food, I shall dedicate this post to DESERTS. And to you, whom I said I'll load all the pics up! Here they are!

Deserts. I usually have them with you you you. We just happen to always have desert after a meal right? " )

AND this is my fav. It's called HAZLENUT ROYAL. It's layers of waffles with hazlenut cream topped with choc ice cream. It's tastes reali awesome. And at the side, there's mango.

The simple RED BEAN, SWEET CORN. U love the red bean, I love the sweet corn. Just nice.

And here's both our fav! RED RUBIES! real chestnut wrapped in jelly like coatings!

FRUTTI-TUTTI - from GELARE! Beautiful!

My first cotton candy after like 6 years. Honey dew flavoured. I like cotton candy.

Sammy with our FRIED MARS BAR... It's hmmm sticky and sweeet and hmm i dun think we ll eat it anytime soon . haha if you get what i mean. It's reali soooo sweeet, you wan loads of water and tea.

Went with colleagues for dinner and had it at CAFE CARTEL... hawaiian pork chops. Enuff for 2 of me. It's HUGE. Can just think of someone who would reali like to have that. haha.. I on the other hand could onli finish 2 slabs of those.

But its highly reccommendable. No kidding.

Another one of my dinner menu. SPARE RIBS... i think im reali bad at cuttin this up. What with all the cutting and all, i think i gt finger cramps from it. And i was full after eating like half of it, coz i was so tired from cuttin it all up!

BAKER'S INNZ.. ...sumatra coffeee cake. It looks absolutely sinful and tastes it too.

And here's how the insides look like!

Sudddenly thought of Crystal Jade. I shall talk more abt that the next time.

2006-10-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

Just reached home... 11pm. errgh.. so blardy shagged. Have been shagged everyday since .. ermm like yesterday. Reached home and then conked out straight away... and feel like conking out now as well.

Owe quite a few ppl some little things here and there. Tonics...a few promises, some bets here and there.. .. blog posts with pics... (its comin, its comin!*).. my lunch... *where's it.. gettin white hairs already la*

A few updates about the past week,

Gt back to work after the long hols, long hols are bad man. .makes one feel so lethargic....luckily gt this gal to sms me. Touched by the warmness of strangers too. Makes the cynical me rethink, maybe people are good too. Was walkin in the rain, when i gt an offer to share an umbrella from a total stranger, no less. The bus driver who asked me if Im good and if I had dinner. So nice. The guy in the same lift as me, who took the effort to pause his conversation to smile and say to me, "have a good night!" Where can you get this man..

Could it be that IMF has reali made us more all into smiley and kind hearted creatures? haha.. I wish.

Tis the season to clear leaves. Have you all cleared yours? And its gg to be end of the month soon. Currently, crazy about all songs, gooong.

I just found a new toy. Just ask anyone ard. My matt black, velvety feel existin mobile phone.

What I really want now. A fantastic dream which makes me feel. That's what I want now.

2006-10-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

Went KTV with the Dan, Lychee & Siwei... the first one I had with them in months.... hahah.. Im glad i changed my mind in the end. Everything was good, the soya chicken rice was good, the "kong ba pau" was good, (in case ur wondering when did KBox start serving baos... its compliments of lychee!), the songs were good and the company was good too.

I m not sure when it started. I think it was a year ago, almost I guess. I started listening carefully to song lyrics. I used to just hum along and sing. But nowadays I reali listen and think about it. That's why some songs I like so much more. .. it's all in the lyrics. Just like this season's 光良's new song. I think I understand what they write about now.

On that note, you know a lot of those chinese shows? They always show the leads saying things like, "it doesnt matter who the person chooses to be with... what matters is that the person is happy" When I was younger, I used to always laugh at it and say, how can anyone be so noble. I laughed at it for a few years more and then this year, I did it. The irony of it all.

These days I just want the person to be happy. Somethings I always keep in my heart. You know I ve a friend whose life motto is ' Say it if you feel it' Easier said than done. Such a brave gal. I think if I did that, a part of my life would be in chaos. haha. But I also understand that some things, once missed cannot be gotton back. That's how fragile everything is. In this less than a hundred years of life, being able to find someone who makes you feel a myraid of intensified feelings is ...well.. how should I put it.... it's just the way it is. Not too sure, how it's gg to be like in the future but now, knowing that the person is happy and all is enough. Coz sometimes one of the worst feelings in the world is the kind where you know the person you care about is in pain and hurt and yet you can do nothing about it. You can neither be near nor around. So, maybe I m not that noble afterall. I just want to spare myself that sort of feelings. It doesnt matter who the person is with anymore, just be happy and safe and sound.

2006-10-15T16:17:00.000-07:00

Im feeling oddly restless and fidgidty for a Sunday. It's very hazy today. Last night as I was walking to the train station, I strolled along Orchard Road by myself under the hazy night sky. For a moment, I felt peaceful.

But of course, peacefulness always gets shattered. hahah It's almost like the true meanin of life.

I blog. I think alot. And of course, for many of you who know me, you would have known that I diary as well. I diary everyday. About the innermost feelings I feel which I may never tell anyone. About what I do, what I want to do.

On this boring Sunday, I decided to re-read all my entries.. beginning from Feburary. It seems that Im grappling with the same issues everyday now that I look at my entries closely. It seems that an aspect of my life is locked in that particular age where I simply cannot move on. Or rather DID NOT move on. It must be the case since everyday, I write a little about it.

Hmm current state of mood: confused and lost and duno where to start with everything. It seems my thoughts are a shimmery watery glob of mess in my brain. I think it reflects the state of my room and wardrobe. haha.. After knowing this, it must seem easy then. To sort out my thoughts. Just pack my room. But of course, there's the catch in this somewhere.

Me, being the sentimental chap I am, cannot bear to throw some stuff out. And more importantly, I cant muster enuff energy to get my butt off the chair to move around.

I want to sweat. Where you pant and you can feel ur heart go "thump, thump, thump" while you try and catch your breath knowing you ve put ur body through some exertion. The shimmery sheen of sweat on ur skin and damp hair. And for that short moment, adreline and endorphines rushes through you and you believe you can conquer all.

I think I shall go skip rope.

2006-10-14T05:30:00.000-07:00

U ll never guess where i am now.

TIME: 5AM

Im up at work in my office. Yes, u got that right. Im at work. After a series of meetings and talks with people around, it was supper time. And then back to work and THEN... i realised I had wireless in my workplace!! I tell you, it completely perked me up! Im so gg to like comin to work like 200% more. Im SERIOUS. It's not like i dun like to come to work on normal days. I still like it. BUT now i LOve it. See me online more often now man.

I have 93.3 playing in the background. There's nobody online now. Unfortunately.

I reali think I ve got super wide exposure in my current job and the experience accumulated is seriously one that cannot be gotten elsewhere in terms of groundwork and communication skills. Anyway, now im in a terribly good mood coz i found out there's internet connection. Such an internet junkie i am can. ... I wish there were people awake now for me to gush to.

And admist everything, Im still worried for a particular someone.

AND im blardy awake now. Thankyew to whoever for the internet connection.

2006-10-13T21:43:00.000-07:00

I heard the most heart-wrenching voice I ve ever heard in aeons today. It (e voice) sounded so sad that it made all my protective instincts jump to life. I din even know I had such instincts until I felt them. I ve been through it all, and so from the bottom of my heart, I pray that you will not experience what I ve experienced. I would never want you to ever experience that sort of pain.

On a side note, I was so happy to see Jingsi online this afternoon. Why? I also duno. hahha It's like a friend is online in the afternoon! I came home in the afternoon to sleep coz I have to go back to work in the night like 12am to abt 8 plus in the morning. Need to settle some stuff. So any dears who are reading this within the time period, pls send me a joke or 2 to keep me entertained throughout pls. hahha

And these days I v e been doing A LOT of quizzes. Just for fun! It's like a habit to talk to Ms gal-with-long-name. *grinz* and do all these fun quizzes at the same time. Hey! We r suppose to hit the gym together right. Dun forget k. haha I reali hope it's US hitting the gym and not the gym hitting us in the end.

Here are some which I ve done tonight!

You Are 64% Feminine, 36% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side.Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you.And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people.Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others.You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others.You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

2006-10-13T01:20:00.000-07:00

I went to watch SCOOP today. Highly recommended. There's loads of witty conversations inside and Woody Allen is indeed very good. Very good indeed.

*WARNING: contains spoilers. Read beyond this line @ ur own risk*

The show is about the chance-meeting of a journalist wannabe student with a deceased famous reporter. Apparently after the famous reporter died and went on to the nether world, he met the secretary of this rich man (played by Hugh Jackman) who believed she was poisoned to death coz she was getting leads on the fact that the rich man may in fact be the "tarot card murderer".

Now, it would not do for a rich man to be implicated in such a scheme right. And I think I forgot to mention that the rich man, (oh btw, his name is peter lyman, from now on i shall refer to him as such) is actually quite a well known figure in politics as well.

I go on. This deceased reporter cannot give up such a good piece of tibit that at the end he die die must let someone know abt this, so he escaped from the netherworld and met Sandra( the wannabe reporter) to let her get the SCOOP on the story.

Woody Allen is Sandra's cute and wacky side kick.

To cut a long story short, Sandra met Peter. Peter met Sandra.

Sandra's purpose is to get the story right first before getting it published and so her aim was to get close to Peter lyman. But coz he's just so blardy handsome and all, she falls in love with him and in the end realise he is a lying, murderous jerk.

Ok, that kinda sums it all.

5 stars. And all for Woody allen's soo very very very *that's 3 verys* witty conversations! And Hugh Jackman's wonderfully broad shoulders and chiselled features. I swear there was a collective gasps when he appeared on screen.

He has such broad dependable-looking shoulders. Irresistable!

2006-10-12T00:08:00.000-07:00

These days, im trying to put things in perspective.

I always tell myself to regulate my breathing.. coz sometimes it gets a bit hindered when i think of some things. It's like...relax , chill, be cool.

That's why i ask the greater powers to bestow on me the ability to see the humor in all situations.

And have i ever mentioned, I reali hate templates? They all sound so impersonal and and..cold. That's the word. COLD.

Oh, btw, i just gt alittle pissed off so now im just rambling.

Work is good so far. With all the social events and progress. Ithink my drinking index is up one notch. I m doing smth i like also on some other days. And somemore. These make me happy. And im happy with the huge number of different ppl I speak to each day. They make me see that there's a diff kind of world out there too.

Ok, im very abrupt. Suddenly I dun feel what I felt when I started to blog.

People change dun they? I used to like msging a lot? Now i dun. I rather just call and talk reali.

O well, daaaaaan, im sure everything will be smooth for u. And it must be tough running between places and all. Take good care of yourself so that u have energy to take good care of others too. <-- Tt's horoscope reading for Thursday. " ) And rem my colleague who was in hospital too for an op? I heard fish soup is reali good for recovery.

To pretty gal in Aussie, I reali love talkin to u coz sometimes u just tell me the most real and honest thing. Its nice hearing it from someone else. LIke come on.. wake up right. And NO, u shouldnt talk or hint anything abt it here ok!!! Looking fwd to ur return! I ll show u pictures!

To hugalicious babe in Singapore, I m sure u ll find ur dream job soon k. Just be cool abt it and get hints from ur vibes. hahah Or worse come to worst, i told u already, u just go and write a book and let's get rich together. haha good idea not?

To mr andy, I just wana say thank you to him here too. why? Coz i think i ve been imposing on him a little these days. Always whining abt things without reali letting him know what;s reali happening. But i reali cant say. BUT the feelings are true. The lousy feelings that is. MY lousy feelings. But good lor, he's always telling me practical stuff and all so I get so busy thinking abt his views and debating that i forget my jealous, lousy, sad feelings. heeee.. better than nothing albeit its an unusual way of distracting someone.

To the NTUMarket, yea meeting again soon. Looking fwd too.

To the rest of the people who dun give me good vibes? Good riddance to bad rubbish. Goodbye goodbye goodbye. put all of u on the mooooooooooon. OUt of sight, out of mind. hahah

*~ smth good is gg to happen soon~*

2006-10-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

Yea.. tml is Thursday already. So happy.

Some body should just spank me. Sometimes I feel so smoothered with care and concern that I feel a little suffocated. At those times, I wish I had a little pent house somewhere with nice flowers all around and cool breeze. Then maybe I will go there and camp like 2 days or so. Wouldnt that be nice!

I think we should all pool money and buy a house somewhere in a nice area lidat. haha so now it's ALL of OUR house. Then anytime we feel troubled and smoothered and all, we can pack our bags and just go there. Then if by chance we meet each other there, that will be a nice surprise!! yea.

I m always so busy being nice and diplomatic and mature and understanding @ work so much so that when I come home, I wana be a little gal over again and throw tantrums and jump around and shout and be ridiculous and talk about silly things. Slack around and discuss some of the ridiculous ppl I meet.

Im reading this book by PAOLO COELHO which talks all about the goodness of LOVE. It's all very holistic. Let me share smth inside.

"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen"

Share more when im done with the book. The title btw is BY THE RIVER PIEDRA I SAT DOWN AND WEPT

2006-10-08T17:58:00.000-07:00

Missing.
Wanting to call.
Yet afraid.

So i read and go to bed.

Coward.

Missing.
Seeing
Wanting a hug.
Yet afraid.

So i smile and banter.

Coward.

Where did all these love come from?

2006-10-06T01:28:00.000-07:00

Touched today. By a simple gesture. That little gesture that says, dun worry im sure u ll be fine. Thank you.

Touched today. Touched by the way my dad goes around looking for that particular box of mooncake coz i mentioned i like the box. The realisation that someone loves you that much is a very humbling experience.

Touched today. Touched that my mummy is asking me to go out more at the expense of family time coz she says she wans me to be able to enjoy my friends as well.

Touched that there is this friend who is always there to offer me a hug. The friend who always says "come, why is the world so mean, come, I give you a Hug."A hug says it all. When nothing can express it. Touch does it.

The little brother that sometimes behave like an elder brother to me. Askin me to eat at proper times, bathe early, sleep more...

2006-10-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

This line keeps running through my head the whole day. Even when im so totally busy with work, or running ard checking on stuff. "It will come with its own set of problems" It's so very true. And of course, I always appreciate honest comments. ahha.. I cant help it la.. I keep thinking of it. And for once, I think ur quite right. And its a new feeling. The feeling that ur quite right. haha

And so , if everthing is going to come with its own set of problems, pls let the greater powers bestow on me the ability to see the humour in every situation and to influence others to see it as well!

I had a dream last night. A very real dream. My fears are always translated into dreams at one point or another. But strangely enuff, I wake up more grounded to reality and happy to a certain extent. It's reali quite theraputic in a way. About a month and a half ago, I had a dream of the same sort as well, it's like a "wake up ur idea dream" where you see urself seeing things you dun like AND dun wan to see. But seeing it is like a stab to ur heart, cold water to the soul and things like that. And if you think seeing such things in ur dreams is diff from real life, ur wrong. The intensity of the feelings in both cases do not change at all. The intensity of the feelings felt are as strong, if not stronger. BUT the good thing is it's in ur dreams.

It rejuvenates me.

2006-10-02T00:09:00.000-07:00

Went to watch THE BANQUET just now starring Zhang Ziyi, Daniel Wu & Zhou xun. It's a starry cast. Found the show to be quite bland actually but im glad someone else enjoyed it. " )

It was yet again a show about people getting consumed by their desires to rise to the throne and of course there's always the element of lust. The 美人 or 江山？ Dilemma right. haha.. But in the end, emperors always fall under the spell of 美人s. In lust we trust. haha

These power struggles always end up with everyone dead coz they were CONSUMED BY THE FLAMES OF DESIRE. Either desire for money, the woman, the man, the kingdom, the list goes on. Now, its called CONSUMED by the flames of desire for a reason. Why not DISTURBED or let's say LICKED by the flames of desire. Why CONSUME?

Coz desire swallows a person whole and in chinese, 把他吃掉。 Thus consumed. ha ,makes sense not?

On this note, I guess everyone should have some fundamental principles which one holds dear to them. And fundamental principles dun change no matter what the situations.

*ok, actually in the next paragraph i was gg to share my own personal fundamental beliefs. But i got distracted and now gt no mood to talk abt things like my fundamental principles. And coz im coughing like nobody's business too. Let's call it a night*

2006-10-01T03:00:00.000-07:00

Falling in love is just that - falling
Out of control, in ur heart and ur soul
Falling in love is just that- falling
Thats how it feels, falling head over heels.

Why love when love hurts
Why love when love ends
I know how it feels when it turns and pretends
It ends with the pain
And the making of ends

Why love when there's peace
In the making of friends

Losing your heart is just that - losing
Too high a cost
When it's given its lost
Takin a risk is just that - taking
With every fall , i cant take anymore

There are quite a few songs in The Forbidden City which managed to get my tear ducts moving. and the above is just one of the songs. I especially like the lyrics, its thought-provoking and should some say, very relevant to a lot of ppl.

True isnt it?

I thought abt it.

Why love when love hurts? - Coz at the end of the day, just meeting the right one will make u so much more happier. The rewards transcends the rest.

Why love when love ends - Coz when one door closes, another opens.

I paused this post to go bathe. When in the bath, a parallel comparison came to me. *haha for those who still do not know, i think a lot when im bathing*

If you say, why love when love hurts, its like sayin why live when life suxs. haah can we say that? On the other hand we have songs that says, love coz its the most splendid thing on earth. It's what separates us from all, LOVE. Life too, is a splendid journey to be taken with the people you love. ha.. guess there's always 2 sides to a coin.

Love, Hate

Darkness and light

Black and white

Truth and lies.

My take is, its all how you react to things. When you fall, wipe the blood, put a plaster on and then move on. Find people who will tend to ur wound and lend you a helpin hand.

hahah ahhh sounds so ideal. But is it reali?

2006-09-28T01:25:00.000-07:00

Was feeling bored.. so did some quizzes with the prompt from a fabulous friend. Great fun!!

Why dun you guys try it????

No.1 : What breed of puppy are u.. hahaha sheesh...

You Are a Chihuahua Puppy

Small, high strung, and loyal.You do best in the city with a adults - young kids could crush you!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

and OMG! im a chihuahua!! and i dun even reali like them!!

No. 2: Very relevant for the Europe gang!!!

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful.You show the world what culture really is.

Who's" Your Inner European?

Im italiano!!! So its PRINCIPESSA FIORA!! Europe gang esp! GO DO THIS!! haha

NO. 3: I especially like this. a lot. I think its the most accurate representation so far

You Are A Lime Tree

You are intelligent, hard working, and innately successful.You try to change what you can in life - and you accept what you can't change.Tough on the outside, you are actually soft and relenting.Jealous at times, you are extremely loyal and giving to those you love.You have many talents, but you don't have enough time to use them.

What's" Your Celtic Horoscope?

And lastly,

You Have Your Sarcastic Moments

While you're not sarcastic at all times, you definitely have a cynical edge.In your opinion, not all people are annoying. Some are dead!And although you do have your genuine moments, you can't help getting your zingers in.Some people might be a little hurt by your sarcasm, but it's more likely they think you're hilarious.

How Sarcastic Are You?

2006-09-24T00:50:00.000-07:00

ha... people change.

Three years ago, I cried when I looked at the photo. I still remember that night where I was all alone in the dark living room in front of the computer screen when I chanced upon that photo. That churning feeling in the heart, tears started welling and thoughts ran amok. And just at that faithful moment, I gt a phonecall from a friend abt yr 2 timetabling.. haha.. THAT is another story altogether. and the rest they say, is HISTORY.

Three years later, I looked at the photo again. I can now look at it and smile. The feeling's still there. But its different now. It may just as wel be a stranger that Im looking at. It's all a little sad. Just like that, we become strangers all over again. Sometimes I sit here and think if we ll ever land in this state. Strangers all over again.

I looked at it long and hard. Nothing stirred in me. I took a second look. Longer and harder this time. And still...

nothing stirred.

Everything seems the same, and yet at the same time, its all different. Three years ago, three years now. Three years later, how will we be like?